100 Months!

Kelsey at 4 days' old. Me... a lot less gray!

Apparently, I need to say something TODAY on my website, or else post something tomorrow and futz with the date settings to make it look like I posted today! Because I can do that. I have the power. See that Twitter feed over there? I did that. I have some skillz. You may bow to my awesome now. *waits*

Anyway, this July, I celebrate the anniversary of my 100th month of parenting, and also my 100th month of non-consecutive-seldom-updated-oh-wait-I-have-a-blog? BLOGGING ABOUT PARENTING!! I put my first post up on my shiny new blog–which lived at the very ingeniously named URL “www.kelsey.thunderdog.com”– on March 18th, 2002. Want to read it? It is here. Feel free to go through the archives if you want to follow my insanity from its messy origins!

This website has been a labor of love for me for more than 8 years. We’ve gone through a number of website names: kelsey.thunderdog, kids.thunderdog, The Adventures of Kelsey and Laurel, ROAR, Dancing Stars, and finally MotherMirth. Allen Holt (who also has his own blog, and it is AWESOME!) has been my co-conspirator, my cheerleader, my pillar of support all these years. And he still likes me! Wow. I think I’ll keep him.

Thank you, readers. Without you, I… well, I’d still be writing here because I need the catharsis, but I would be just talking to myself. And thank you to my 3 amazingly wonderful children, who continue to do funny and interesting things to make me think, laugh, and cry. I adore you.

To get a fresh start on the NEXT 100 months of blogging, tell me what you like to read. What are your favorite posts/subjects? Want more photos? What do you like and NOT like about the site redesign? Talk to me!

Posted in Huge very big things, Journal, Photo of the Day | View Comments

On Breastfeeding: Complicated Fun Bags

Me with my 3 orally fixated kids

Back in my wild, child-free years, I had a lot of uninformed opinions about feeding babies. They drank milk from bottles. I didn’t even question the kind of milk. It was white. Babies drank it. In my defense, I seldom saw nursing mothers because I grew up in the 70s and 80s, when a whole lot of American mothers were convinced that the science of formula-making was superior to the messy biological functions of breasts. I thought that boobies were simply, to quote Kathryn Blundell, deputy editor of a British parenting magazine called Mother & Baby Magazine, “fun bags.”

I know Ms. Blundell has taken a lot of flak for her comments about HER choice not to breastfeed. And there are many panties in wads over fear that the message we’re trying to send to women worldwide that breast is best is somehow compromised because of her essay. And you know what? I understand why Kathryn Blundell didn’t want to nurse her child. And, as a writer who likes to foist her own opinions and stories out into the world, I support the magazine’s defense of Blundell. Because it turns out that although I’ve got a lot to say about breastfeeding, I am really quite invested in reminding folks that it’s all about choice. Some women want to and cannot breastfeed. Some women don’t even want to try. Some women try so damn hard that it breaks your heart to see them struggle. And for some, it is easy. The choice to breastfeed or not is fraught with enough emotion and privilege and politics and cultural taboos already without adding any more, or judging someone for making a choice that you disagree with.

Yes, I am super. Try telling ME to feed my baby in the bathroom. *RAWR*

I chose to nurse my babies. But breastfeeding did not come naturally to me. It was foreign and a little weird. I had to be shown. I had to learn. I had to tolerate it when a CLEARLY PUT OUT maternity nurse with too much make up and not enough empathy jammed my innocent, virginal nipple again and again into my screaming, starving newborn’s gaping maw, while explaining the process as if I were an idiot. And I was, indeed, an idiot. There weren’t enough women in my life to role model the nursing mother. I had to figure things out for myself after that rocky start. My own kids are growing up in a whole different culture! They feed their babies, lions, tigers, and bears (Oh my!) from their chests, and when they use a bottle to feed their various special offspring, it’s filled with breastmilk. THEY get it *dance of triumph!*

Today, I nurse my son every two hours, all day long. He sleeps with me, and he nurses during the night, too, both for hunger and for nurturing. This is my life and has been for this latest iteration of my motherhood. I have a 9 month old, a 6 year old, and an 8 year old. I’ve done the math, and it appears that 51 of the 100 months that I have been a parent have been filled with breastfeeding one of my kids. So, to say that my life is 180 degrees different from those wild early years may be the biggest understatement I’ve ever admitted to.

Simply put, breastfeeding is what I do with my breasts. But that doesn’t mean it’s ALL I do.

These fun bags attached to my body are complicated. Like most things in life, boobies are complex. And their function is dependent on my whim, my choice. Are they sexy? Damn straight. Are they functional mammalian apparati from which my babies feed and are nurtured? You bet. It’s this duality of function, this slippage, that Americans, at least, have a lot of trouble with. If you admit that your breasts are used for feeding an infant AND ALSO play their role in some really hot sex scenes with consenting adults, well, be prepared for some criticism. There is something creepy and wrong with you.

I guess I’m creepy. Oh well. Hooray for boobies!

Posted in Journal, Photo of the Day | Tagged | View Comments

Project Simplify: Curbing our use of disposable plastic

My friends reuse hundreds of Stoneyfield Farm yogurt containers to make homemade ice cream during our annual camping trip!

Today I want to talk about PLASTIC. Part of Project Simplify is my plan to reduce what goes into our trash can AND into our recyclables disposal. We’ve stopped buying bottled water and are using stainless steel bottles filled with our own tap water instead. When you consider that Americans use an average of 2,500,000 plastic bottles every HOUR, the little any of us can do would make a huge difference. What an easy way to make long-lasting change. Use a refillable bottle. Use your tap water. Let’s make use of that amazingly convenient privilege most Americans take for granted in their houses: the faucet and access to clean water.

What about plastic bags? The answer isn’t as simple as STOP USING THEM. Most Americans use plastic bags to transport store-bought items to their homes from the store.  But if you think of the amount of oil used to produce plastic bags (about 12 million barrels per year to produce plastic bags for Americans’ use, according to one source I found ), it makes it a lot more compelling to make use of those reusable shopping bags. But even if you use reusable bags for most of your shopping, you still end up with some plastic bags. Don’t throw them in the garbage, please. Plastic bags are clogging up landfills, killing more than a million sea creatures every year, and they don’t break down for approximately 600 years. Plastic bags are hard to rid ourselves of. My town doesn’t take them in the recycling, so I have to bring them to the grocery store to recycle. What I end up doing is reusing them a ton of times for transporting things, and then returning them to the holder in the kitchen. When the holder overflows, I take a handful to the recycling box at the grocery store. It’s a little bit of effort that goes a long way.

It’s taking slightly more effort to rid ourselves of *plastic baggies that seal, for food storage and for lunches. Getting rid of these is causing trouble in my marriage.

Allen, my long-suffering co-conspirator, who happily goes along with all my nefarious plots, turned to me one day when doing the agonizing exercise of putting the kids’ lunches together and said, with some level of exasperation, “My gods. Can we please just buy some EASY disposable-type stuff to put in the kids’ lunches?” He was, at the time, washing out some containers to put fruit into, while looking for more containers for the crackers. My response was not helpful. “Well, honey, if we order out for more Indian food, we can re-use those containers for the kids’ lunches!” Since he’s in charge of the family budget, and eating out is one of those things we shouldn’t do often, well…that wasn’t the answer he was looking for.

What Allen is lamenting is the ease with which we used to make the school lunches. I would buy serving-size bags of pretzels or crackers, or those neat little plastic bags filled with cubed or stick cheese, or tiny bags of perfect little organic baby carrots. Now, we have to clean out the myriad of containers we use and find healthy snacks to fill them up with. We now use REUSIES, which we adore. We have stainless steel containers to send water or juice, instead of disposable juice boxes (with plastic straws). We use plastic containers over and over again for goldfish crackers, carrots, fruit–all that stuff you put into your kids’ lunchboxes that you hope they aren’t just throwing away. Making lunches for the kids is, to put it bluntly, a pain in the ass. But it’s small change that we CAN do, and that makes a difference, and thus is worth the effort and inconvenience.

What are some ways you’ve found for saving resources/reducing your use of/disposal of plastics? Don’t tell me I’m the only one who washes out the bags the bread comes in ….

*Most of our food still comes wrapped in plastic, in plastic bags, in plastic containers even. Making more changes will mean buying food differently, which I’ve begun doing, or *ahem* making things like bread myself. Eek. But it’s hard to imagine getting things like cereal or noodles in something other than plastic. In so many ways, plastic has truly been a boon to the modern world. A cheap way to preserve and transport and store food. But our over-reliance on plastics in the US  is having serious environmental impact.
Posted in Journal, Photo of the Day | Tagged | View Comments

Laurel uses acronyms!

Posted in Journal, Laurel Milestones, Photo of the Day | View Comments

Project Simplify: The Overview

I’ve been working toward a rather ambitious goal–rethinking the everyday impact of our family’s buying choices. My objectives are to lessen the amount of landfill-waste caused by our family, reduce our reliance on fossil fuels (which includes limiting our use of disposable plastics, which take OIL to make), get more of the things we need from second-hand sources, and consume/prepare food that is less processed/closer to “natural.” I call it Project Simplify — a tiny bit of sarcasm there, because, umm, doing this shit is hard.

So far, we have made drastic changes to just about every facet of our lives. I’ll be talking about this in the coming weeks. But today, I’m going to run around the park and chase my kids! Have a lovely 3-day weekend!

Posted in Journal | Tagged | View Comments