Letting my Freak Flag… Take a Hiatus?

Do it! Do it! Super long hair is generally way damaged, and getting a cut will make it look healthier and thus make you look younger. And it will send a message that you take care of yourself.

As another lifelong veteran of the long hair, I say Do It! Chop off a foot. Chop off two. Until you get really short, you don't actually have to do anything styled with it– just hack off some of the extra time/trouble and tiptoe your way towards another hairstyle you like.

Of course, you could also hack three feet off and dye it all black and bright blue, like I did in college. But I'm not sure I'd recommend that.

I think you could easily lop off anywhere between 1-2 *feet* and feel a great change without sacrificing the beauty of the long hair. I can tell you that it takes about 2 years to go from Sierra-levels of short to my length of long if you end up going extreme and then changing your mind.

i am, obviously, a proponent of drastic haircuts occasionally so, i say do it.
i highly, highly recommend Wendy at Revive Salon on Tremont. i will email you a list of folks who see her, including a few who have gone in with waist length hair and chopped it!

I'm in the cut off 2+ feet and dye it camp! You have gorgeous hair but it always seems like such a weight on your head. I bet you'd feel a zillion pounds lighter and have more spring in your step. Then you can try the semi-permanent color like weegoddess mentioned. I love not really having to think about my hair color for ~8 weeks. It's nice. And it means my internal picture of me matches closer to the external one. *hugs* I'd hold your hand if you went on a weekend or evening.

Oops, wrong account

I support you in whatever you do with your hair, because it's your hair, and I'm pretty sure no matter what, you'll look great. That said, I'm going to tell you about my transition from long-haired to short-haired on the theory that some of it will resonate with you:

I had super long hair for most of my late adolescence and young adulthood. It was a point of pride for me, and beautiful, as long hair often is. I had fantasies of elaborate up-dos, and I thought of it as my mane, or crowning glory (pun intended!)

It was also, for me, something to hide behind. My hair was tightly bound up with my idea of myself, and how I valued myself as a(n attractive) person in the world. It was part of how I signaled my femininity.

Over time, though, I realized that I wasn't really doing the elaborate up-dos that I fantasized about, and that many people seemed to think of my long hair as public property. Strangers would touch it. People I barely knew would implore me never to think of cutting it. When I started to talk about cutting it, people acted as though I would be depriving them of an important element of their lives. For me, this was barely tolerable in my lovers, and completely unbearable in friends and acquaintances. My hair, damnit! MINE MINE MINE

I cut my hair in stages: first, I cut off about 20″ and had a super cute chin-length bob. I discovered that my theory that I could still be cute and feminine with shorter hair was true. I liked how much easier it was to manage. My lovers still found me attractive. In fact, I found that I thought I was much more attractive with shorter hair. My face came to the fore and my hair became an accessory rather than the main event. My looks were more about ME and less about MY HAIR. Also, sex was easier. I stopped slamming my hair in the car door. My physical boundaries were respected more often by strangers.

Once I had had that short hair for a while, I discovered the other great delight of short hair: variation! I change my hairstyle a lot these days. I go from very short to chin-length over the course of a few years. It's fun! It's awesome! It's easy! All those fancy up-dos that I never did? I'm making up for them with fun, low-maintenance short hairstyles.

My hair is still an important part of how I think about myself, and I'm much happier with both it and my thinking now than when it was long.

So: I think you'll continue to look great whatever you do with you hair. And I think you'll love short hair if you decide to do that. If you do, I recommend Christine at Salon Cu in Ball Square or Rob at DHR in Harvard Sq — Rob is a little more conservative, Christine a little more rad, and they both give excellent haircuts.

For a specific cut, I think you'd look super cute with an angled bob, stacked in back. And I love talking and thinking about hair so I'm happy to talk more about this here or elsewhere.

I suggest Christine at Salon Cu. She's great, and she gave me the current awesome bob that I have!
If you cut your hair and don't like it, growing it out is an option. (Though it might take awhile.) I think you would look great with short hair!

- Sabine

Do it! My mother regularly cuts a foot off of her hair and *no one* even notices. You won't miss it. For that matter, I support a more drastic change if that's what you want, too. Either way, I really love my stylist, Nikki at Liquid in the South End. She's young and hip, but she totally gets that not everyone needs spikey neon hair, and she's always given me good advice and great haircuts. Best of all, a cut with her is only $40.

I am watching these comments with great interest, both on account of your hair and mine.

I very much see myself at, errr, 60? as looking like your mother. Long, awesome, silver hair flowing. But for now… yeah. I don't mind getting something a little stylish. Thanks for the recommendation. I'm going to make a list of suggested stylists and figure out where to do this. A little nervous….

She comes highly recommended! But whereas “growing it out” is always an option, living with a cut I don't like means I am a hermit for 6 months.

You do have an awesome cut that looks great on you! I am not one meant for hair that short, at least that's not the image I can even wrap my head around.

Wow. Your response resonates a lot with me. I found myself nodding to some of your revelations, feeling like you've voiced my own insecurities about my hair. My fear of losing myself, my identity. The self confidence and esteem I've crafted so carefully after decades of low self worth, very tied up in the image I have of myself. A woman with very long hair. And I still think it may be my most favorite asset. And that's…. dangerous.

You've definitely given me something to think about. Thank you!

It is a weight. Allen is nodding beside me. He thinks that if *I* go for a haircut, that'll mean he's allowed to as well. Isn't he silly?

My internal picture of me would take a long time to change if I got a SHORT haircut. But it merits more contemplation. Thanks for offering to hold my hand. It might be rather an emotional event.

I'm making a list! YOUR haircut is amazing!

See–you had me at 1-2 feet. And then you bring up Sierra-level. And now I'm feeling all this anxiety. Because Sierra's hair looks completely awesome on her. But I can't even imagine myself with hair that short. It .. .doesn't work in my brain. Even thinking of cutting it 6 inches is still going into “extreme” for me!

Your cheery words are a balm to my indecisive soul! But let's leave out the words “hack” and “chop” as it's giving me the willies. *hairy eyeball!*

This is true. And maybe if I LOOK like I take care of myself, I actually will get better at that….

think of all the bald children they could make wigs for with all that hair!

I took a friend with me when I got my hair chopped. It helps to have friends with you for things like this.