Poser

Posted on August 12, 2010 by Terry L. Holt

She's serious in her B&W!!

Currently, in my closet, I have the capacity to dress as a hoochie mama, a hippie freak, a transient, a 14-year-old boy, or an exotic dancer.

I do not have the clothes of a professional photographer.

What does a professional photographer wear, you might ask? Well. I have no idea. You see, I am not a professional photographer. I am a poser. A dreamer.

I am an unemployed stay-at-home mother of three who has neglected her appearance for too long. I have no idea what is even fashionable right now. I have a pair of khakis in my dresser that I bought in 1995. I consider them my new khakis still. Most of my jeans have holes in them. Oh, and also, all of my pants are loose on me right now, so I need to wear a belt. Unfortunately, my husband is also downsizing, and he’s wearing MY belt. We have ONE nice leather belt between us, and he is wearing it. The other belts are crap.

You know, it’s not that we’re poor. We’re just distracted.

My professional clothes, leftover from an era when I was earning a good wage in the marketing/publishing industry, are all huge on me. I am quite a bit smaller now than I was when I had things like direct deposit, a 401 plan, and self esteem.

So today, I’m going to rock the 14-year-old-boy-who’s-also-lactating-look, with the exotic dancer belt and the hoochie mama shelf undershirt, with my long hippie hair put into a braid. And I’m going to put Andrew in the backpack, sling my awesome Lowepro camera bag over my shoulder, and try to act like a professional.

I’m so nervous I might hurl.

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  • Jen Hunter

    I'd love to play “What Not to Wear” if you ever want to take me shopping with you.

  • http://allenholt.com/ Allen Holt

    You're going to be excellent and amazing and fantastic. This photo shoot is entirely within your wheelhouse – I don't see any way you couldn't be awesome at it. And remember, this is WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. Don't be nervous, be excited for the awesome opportunity!

    You rock, my love.

    *smooooooooooooooooch*

  • moominmolly

    That looks perfect. I usually wear something similar when going to a (non-corporate) shoot, actually. I try to look simultaneously funky and completely backgroundable: dark colors with an interesting cut or an extra belt or something. When doing something corporate or otherwise Fancy, I do the dressier equivalent of that: all-black dress clothes. It's always black for me; easier to blend in, even when I had pink hair.

    You look awesome! Go you.

  • Vika

    You look fan-freakin'-tastic. Just thought I'd chime in.

  • Jess

    I think that you look fab in your 14 year old boy motif. Just believe you can do it and that's half of it. You certainly have the skills.

  • http://twitter.com/jasra Lisa, aka Jasra

    I think you look fabulous!

  • Nora

    You are going to rock house. And you LOOK like you are going to rock house. That is all.

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