Assorted medical professionals and staff keep walking into my room as I try to nurse. Strangely, I seemed to have misplaced my sense of modesty during the birth. Yes, it’s National Geographic in room 702 of the Witt Building at Morton Plant Hospital in Clearwater, Florida. I am one of those tribal women, with the baby hanging off my boob as I balance lunch in the other hand.
We are packed and ready to go home 12 hours before they let us go. So. More staring at baby and sighing a lot. Various bodily recovery facts and such that I’ll keep to myself. Our pediatrician comes by, not even the least bit fazed that he’s talking to half-naked tribal woman. Bless him, he says we can leave at 7 p.m.
I found humor again. I thought I had used it all up in the delivery! Speaking of which, I forgot to note, for posterity, those most wonderful moments in labor–the transition and birth! When your body is almost ready to begin the whole pushing thing, a lot of strange physical things happen. I’d read about transition. Experiencing it was pretty amazing. I went from sweating to instant nausea to vomiting in like seconds. Interesting! Because I wasn’t quite uncomfortable enough…. four nurses staring at me, the not-very-helpful anesthesiologist, my wonderful doctor, and my even more wonderful husband, all staring at the mess of biological functions that define me at the moment….
I think I might have possibly been at my most vulnerable moment in my adult life during transition. Between retching, I remember saying to the love of my life “you know, honey, at some point in the future, you’re going to have to have sex with me again.” He giggled. My doctor guffawed. The anesthesiologist wasn’t humored. But we don’t like him anyway. Fucker said out loud that HE thought I was a prime candidate for a C-section because the epidural wasn’t working. My body was doing everything it should have been doing to that point EXCEPT not responding to the epidural. Maybe he took it personally and wanted to see my belly ripped open. Hmmm.
Yes, back labor does indeed suck. But I got it done. I pushed when I needed to do so, informing the doctor and nurse that I was doing so. To which they said, with a little bit of humor, “Well, I suppose that’s OK, although you’re not totally effaced.” Too bad. I’m having a baby. Someone catch her. Thirty minutes later, K entered the world with a quiet gurgle followed by a scream. Hello!
Anyway, a little past 8 pm, we make it home finally with our new bundle. We walk into our house and all I can see is the 100-pound hyper dog who might have a flea and who sheds a pound of hair a minute; the maniacal cat, who likes to perch in high places and bat stuff off shelves onto your head; the back-up of laundry…. All the preparations for Kelsey’s arrival were not quite enough. I needed a big plastic bubble and a sterile environment, with 24-hour armed patrol outside the door and an army of nurses to make sure I don’t do anything stupid. After I calm down a bit, we sleep fitfully. We are glad to be home. Tonight, I just need to wrap my body around this little girl and protect her through the night. I’ll deal with the world tomorrow.
posted by terry on 18-Mar-2002 05:09 PM