The Case of the Mysteriously Appearing Scissors

Posted on May 29, 2006 by Terry L. Holt

So, Kelsey has short hair. And when I say “short” I mean bowl cut. I mean the Dorothy Hamil. The pixie. Whatever the hell you want to call it, I call it SHORT. What do I know about short haircuts? Have you seen me? I get a haircut about every 2 years. My husband? I don’t remember the last time I saw the back of his neck. His hair is halfway down his back too. We like hair in this family. Well, apparently “we” meaning the parents. *snf*

It wasn’t exactly planned. Well, when I say “it wasn’t exactly planned” I mean that yes, at some point in Kelsey’s life, I was expecting to expose her to the wonders of hair salons and such, but that I kind of like being the family hairstylist and wasn’t prepared for things to change quite so dramatically. Of course, I realize that it’s not all about me and my wishes. Oh wait, what the hell am I saying. IT’S ALL ABOUT ME! *I* decide when a milestone is supposed to be reached! I plan! I take photos! I celebrate all the milestones! What the hell is this new thing my four-year-old is doing–this whole “free will” thing? Since when did she have an opinion about the way she wants her hair?

*blows into paper bag*

*Deep breath* So, yes, the dreaded haircutting episode that every parent fears happened to us on *bleeping* Memorial Day weekend.

Kelsey decided she wanted short hair while in the bathroom at Grammie’s house on Sunday. My mother is adamant that she left the scissors up in the cabinet six feet off the ground in the bathroom. Kelsey is 3.5 feet tall. There were no footprints on the toilet seat. No evidence of her climbing on the sink. No robotic arms, no flying helper monkeys, no trampolines, no wires, no climbing apparatus. Perhaps she used the power of her mind to move the scissors into reach. Or perhaps someone ELSE is to blame, some villain who left the scissors in a place that was accessible to my kid. I’m thinking it’s time to interrogate the niece and nephew.

So, anyway, we open the door to the bathroom, and there she is. Shorn

“I’m cutting my hair. I want it short!” she says, scissors still in hand, surrounded by hair. Allen picks up a handful and is in tears. I take Kelsey into her grandmother’s room and discuss why we shouldn’t use scissors on anything but paper. I touch the back of her head lovingly, and handfuls of hair come out.

I send a distraught Allen down to prepare the family waiting downstairs, to make sure they don’t laugh at her or scold her. And then I have my mother make an appointment at a hair salon to… help repair the damage!

Here she is, after her first inadvertent trip to the hairstylist.

Yeah, I know. She’s gorgeous. *grumble, grumble*

This entry was posted in Days to Remember, Kelsey Milestones, Photo of the Day. Bookmark the permalink.
  • Michelle

    I’m giggling uncontrollably. And so should you.

    I really like the haircut. I think she looks like a little nymph. Should I tell you about the time I smooshed a big wad of bubble gum into my scalp and was left with a spike of hair shooting from the top of my head for months? It’s one of my mother’s favorite stories to tell. In fact, she told that story this weekend. Hmmm…coincidence? Just wait til she’s 16 and gets a tattoo or a belly button ring. Then you can freak out.

  • Terry

    The universe has a sense of humor. People connected to me should not talk about strange/horrific things that happened to their children or to themselves EVER. Because something is listening, and thinks it’s funny to fuck with my life in the weirdest ways. Case in point: my friend Ann told me about her child falling in her house, fracturing her tibia. 5 days later, no kidding, Laurel falls and …. fractures her tibia.

    And also, some benign power out there — I have a great imagination — has held back the rain from falling on my head 3 times out of the last 3 times we had showers here. It would threaten rain and, I swear, it wouldn’t start raining until I was on my front porch. I like to think it’s my karma. Or maybe I’m just incredibly solipsistic and think the weather revolves around me…. ;)