Christmas 2006, Kelsey with her new bike!
I’ve been carrying a 15/16″ wrench in my back pocket for 3.5 years now.
It’s just this thing I do, whenever I take the kids for a bike ride. Most times, Kelsey and Laurel will get on their training-wheel-equipped bicycles, and I’ll tag along behind them on foot (my bike is QUITE BROKEN). And when we get to a perfect space for safe biking, I’ll ask if either child wants me to take off the training wheels. It’s always been a no-go, and that’s OK
Last Thursday, I finally got a positive response.
I’m not sure if I’m old-fashioned or cutting-edge when it comes to many parenting decisions. Probably the former. I like to respond to my kids’ needs in ways that feel natural to me. Maybe I’m just lazy. But I believe, for the most part, in reaching developmental milestones in a child-led fashion. Because, honestly, if they aren’t invested in succeeding, what’s the point? Potty training Kelsey at 29 months happened the same way. Laurel weaning at 26 months happened likewise. When they are ready–that’s the time to TRY. Right? If I pushed my kids to achieve bike riding or reading early or tight-rope walking before they are developmentally and psychologically ready, am I doing that for bragging rights? Because I haven’t noticed any awards being given out to kids for early milestone achievement.
Kelsey got her bike right before her 5th birthday. And she has enjoyed riding it with training wheels ever since. But last week, she was ready. She took a deep breath, looked me in the eye, and said with her most I’m-being-courageous voice, “You can take off my training wheels.”
Kelsey with her bike minus training wheels, July 29, 2010
So, I did what every parent does. I pushed her a few times, never letting go. I ran alongside her, balancing her on the bike while she got the feel of balancing. She knew I wouldn’t let go. And then she tried taking off a few times by herself. Finally, she felt ready to go solo, so she asked me to give her a push. And I did. And she rode her bike about 30 yards before putting down her feet and stopping, all flushed with pride, looking back at me with surprise and excitement in her face.
To say she was ready is such an understatement. She is 8.5 years old. She’s been riding her scooter for 2 years with poise and balance. She did brilliantly on the bike, pedaling and balancing, feeling more confident with each revolution of her wheels.
And when she was tired, she asked me to put the training wheels back on so that she could bike home safely. And I did. I’m hoping that the next time we go biking, she’ll want to keep the training wheels off. Because it’s so much more fun! If she doesn’t, if she wants to keep them on, that’s fine too.
The weight of that steel wrench in my back left pocket feels rather like an old friend anyway.