My pants are shrinking.
There is no way that at a mere 7 weeks I can already be so poofy! Sure, my body is now circulating 10% more blood, and my uterus has already doubled in size. But for both of my previous pregnancies, I didn’t need to level up to maternity clothes until after the first trimester!
Of course, it’s not like I have those crazy things called “abdominal muscles” to help keep it held in. After 2 children and staring 40 in the face, those muscles are in South Florida sipping margaritas.
I may have to broadcast my news sooner than I had wanted anyway. Perceptive children are perceiving that their mom has been replaced with an alien life form who sprints from the room holding her nose when sausage is being cooked. And once they know, no force other than duct tape can keep the news from spreading. And there’s only so long one can legally duct tape one’s child’s mouth closed while sending her to public school. After a day or two, the teachers begin to notice.
In other news, my midwife saw me today and declared that my uterus is large for gestation. You can basically read this as I’m either carrying a litter or, as my best friend helpfully informed me earlier using top-notch Internet research, my uterus is probably filled with fibroids.
I go for an ultrasound next week to see if it’s twins, fibroids, humanoids, or ping pong balls.